diff --git a/Cargo.lock b/Cargo.lock
index 1285bc2..6238db1 100644
--- a/Cargo.lock
+++ b/Cargo.lock
@@ -1461,7 +1461,6 @@ dependencies = [
  "octocrab",
  "owo-colors 4.0.0",
  "poise",
- "rand",
  "redis",
  "regex",
  "reqwest 0.12.2",
diff --git a/Cargo.toml b/Cargo.toml
index b47c5fd..dd9eed8 100644
--- a/Cargo.toml
+++ b/Cargo.toml
@@ -24,7 +24,6 @@ log = "0.4.20"
 poise = "0.6.1"
 octocrab = "0.37.0"
 owo-colors = "4.0.0"
-rand = "0.8.5"
 redis = { version = "0.25.2", features = ["tokio-comp", "tokio-rustls-comp"] }
 regex = "1.10.3"
 reqwest = { version = "0.12.2", default-features = false, features = [
diff --git a/src/handlers/event/eta.rs b/src/handlers/event/eta.rs
index f4219f1..02bb24e 100644
--- a/src/handlers/event/eta.rs
+++ b/src/handlers/event/eta.rs
@@ -1,9 +1,8 @@
-use std::sync::OnceLock;
+use std::{sync::OnceLock, time::SystemTime};
 
 use eyre::Result;
 use log::trace;
 use poise::serenity_prelude::{Context, Message};
-use rand::seq::SliceRandom;
 use regex::Regex;
 
 fn regex() -> &'static Regex {
@@ -39,13 +38,14 @@ pub async fn handle(ctx: &Context, message: &Message) -> Result<()> {
 		return Ok(());
 	}
 
-	let response = format!(
-		"{} <:pofat:1031701005559144458>",
-		MESSAGES
-			.choose(&mut rand::thread_rng())
-			.unwrap_or(&"sometime")
-	);
+	// no, this isn't actually random. we don't need it to be, though  -getchoo
+	let current_time = SystemTime::now()
+		.duration_since(SystemTime::UNIX_EPOCH)?
+		.as_millis();
+	let random_pos = (current_time % MESSAGES.len() as u128) as usize;
 
+	let response = format!("{} <:pofat:1031701005559144458>", MESSAGES[random_pos]);
 	message.reply(ctx, response).await?;
+
 	Ok(())
 }